The Adventures of Katie Boo

She lay there, breathing quietly. Her hand rolled over her stomach. Facing the window, she didn’t hear or see him come in.

He stood at the foot of the bed, just staring for what felt like a long time before she rolled onto her back and saw him.

“Well hello there,” she said flatly.

“Well hello there,” he said back. He cocked his head to one side, content at the very sight of her.

“Want something to eat?” she asked with no intention of getting up.

“No.” He took off his jean jacket and threw it on the chair. He unbuttoned his pants, pulled at the zipper a bit and in one slick move pulled off his pants and brown boots.

In his boxers, a white tee-shirt and socks, he climbed onto the bed, took a few steps forward, and then laid down next to her.

She had rolled back onto her side, facing the window. The only light shining in was the bright full moon. He twisted to fit her and rested an arm over her stomach.

“Wait…” She took his hand and pressed it against her large belly. “Here. Did you feel that?” He felt the small kick.

“Yeah, how long has he been doing that?” he asked with a tired sigh.

“A little after you left.” A slight smile crept across her face as he squeezed his head onto the curve of her neck. “Len called.”

“When, what he want?”, his voice flat with disinterest.

“He didn’t say, he called about an hour ago.” She repositioned herself and continued to stare out the window.

“Did I need to call him back?”

“He said you can do it tomorrow.” He grunted approvingly. He continued caressing her stomach. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes.

“Was it raining when you got in? It’s raining now.” He grunted again without really meaning anything. “Roll over, I need to be on my back.” He withdrew his arm and rolled over. Staring up at the ceiling he felt her fidget and roll onto her back. Her head on his outstretched arm, she began playing with his hand as the rain began to tap louder on the roof.

“Promise me something,” he asked. Without waiting for a reply he continued, not letting his voice waver, “promise me you won’t ask.”

“I won’t” she replied quickly. “I didn’t want to.” After a moment she let go of his hand and turned her head up to look at him.

“Yes?” he asked teasingly. She opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind and smiled instead. “Goodnight” he whispered. She rolled over on her side and he quickly followed.

“Goodnight” she mumbled as she stared out the window and watched the sun come up.

I spend the first few minutes at the edge of the pool, searching for sharks.

“How’s it look?” my friend asks, knowing the answer already. Jim and I have been swimming together for a few years now and he knows the drill.
The water is like glass as I peer down, actually hoping to see a fin poke out from the deep. But there is nothing, save for a few bandaids and hair ties. I continue my hunt anyway. The clock ticks down to zero and the lifeguard climbs up into her seat after taking one last swig of her diet coke.

The other bathers move towards the edge and I wait for someone to jump in. A skinny girl in a metallic pink bathing suit with matching cap and goggles goes in first. She is half way down the lane when Jim looks at me and asks, “Ready?” I let him jump in before I slide myself into the cold water. The pool is only heated on Sunday evenings and it is already Wednesday.

Jim gives me one last smile before disappearing. He doesn’t resurface until he reaches the opposite end of the pool. Of course, I try too, but only make it half way before I have to shoot up gasping for air. As I make my way to the edge of the pool, Jim points in the opposite direction. I turn.

Two scared Asian girls are slowly making their way to the pool, more specifically, to my pool.  My eyes narrow and I push off speeding down, hoping I make it over to them before they can dip their toes into my water.  The pool is full and they plan on splitting up, one has already jumped into the next lane over without warning.  The other is sitting on the edge, staring at me hopefully awaiting an invitation into my pool.

Lane etiquette requires you to ask your fellow swimmers before entering an occupied lane.  It would be like jumping onto a treadmill while someone else was getting their sweat on.

Now, the chunkier swimmer, already in the lane next to our’s, was trying to get the attention of her fellow swimmers, so that they would switch up their rhythm and start circle swimming.  I take the opportunity to  try and move them out of my lane.  I try telling them both that Lanes 7 and 8 are not Circle Swim Lanes, that it is against the rules and that we could all get kicked out of the pool for this.

The first part, about designated lanes?  True.  The other bit about being kicked out?  Not so true.  But I was desperate, ready to lie, cheat, or splash to get rid of these strangers.  I tell them the deep end is open, praying to spot a Great White Shark to devour these newcomers.  I refuse to move, holding my ground and blocking the now giggling girl’s entrance.  They inform me through their innocent laughter that the deep end is “too deep” and gave me a coy smile.

I was preparing to tell them my sharks in the pool theory when they spotted an empty lane and quickly ran away from the only real monster in the water.

It’s funny I should be afraid of a shark in the pool.  Not just because of the obvious reasons; how would a shark get into the pool?  How would it survive in the chlorine?  How would the university allow this?

But because, most shark attacks are not really attacks at all.  Great Whites at least, don’t outright hunt humans.  They are inquisitive, even playful creatures and most “incidents” are just a Great White’s way of checking out an unknown organism.  They’ll grab your arm, tow you a bit, and then let you go.  A sort of toothy investigation.

Those two girls had less to fear from swimming with a Great White Shark than jumping in with this great white.

Whats also funny is that Great Whites have more to fear from humans than we do of them.  Sure a shark might bite your arms off, but you have a chance to make it to shore.  Shark hunters chop off their fins, which sell up to the 1000′s on the black market and throw the shark back into the water.  Without being able to swim and get oxygenated water to their gills, the sharks end up drowning.

Humans have managed to kill off the most efficient hunters on the planet.  Thats how awful we are, we figured out how to drown fish.

These hunters bait the sharks right up onto the boat promising tuna or some other fishy delights, just like I baited those poor girl with false advice.  I too tried chopping off their flippers, luckily they were more savvy than a shark and got away in time. Had I really wanted to see a blood thirsty, mindless hunter all I had to do was head into the locker room and stare into the mirror.

Click.
“Do you have everything?” She asked repositioning the rearview mirror and then checking her bangs a moment.
“You packed my bags” Aaron replied shortly. He stared out from the passenger seat of his Tercel on a sweaty Sunday morning.
“Daddy’s Day, Daddy’s Day, Daddy’s Day!” Steve yelled from the backseat.
“Shut up Steve!” Marja shrieked loudly, kicking the back of Aaron’s chair.
“Marja baby, stop kicking Daddy’s seat.” Aaron tried to keep his voice calm. The coffee maker had decided today, of all days, to break and Aaron was not all together awake yet.
“So you think you have everything?” Martha asked again. Aaron took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Yes.” He turned and stared out the window, “I forgot to trim the bushes” he muttered to himself. “Guys, buckle up. We need to get going.”
“We’re not going anywhere, you are.” Marja sassed quickly. She was seven but acted more like her older cousins everyday Aaron thought.
The drive to the parking lot was uneventful. Martha drove slower than usual, but that was to be expected. She had been dreading this day for two weeks now. She could often make the trip in under ten minutes, today it took her fifteen.
Slam.
“Do you have everything?” she asked a third time. Aaron smiled, something about being with Sharon, his truck, put him at ease.
“Of course I have everything, my personal assistant wouldn’t forget anything” he teased. He walked towards his truck and stared up with his hands on his hips and a small smile creeping across his face.
“So?” Martha questioned. Aaron didn’t notice Steve and Marja running around, trying to climb up Sharon. “Get down, you could hurt yourself!” Martha yelled. She handed Aaron his duffle bag and folded her arms quickly. She pulled her sunglasses down from atop her head. It was sunny, but that wasn’t why she needed them. “Oh I forgot.” She gestured to the car’s trunk and ran towards it. Steve and Marja continued to climb up into their father’s truck, pulling at the locked door. Martha came back with a grocery bag in each hand. “I got these, so you wouldn’t have to stop quite as much. But stop when you’re tired.” Like he didn’t know that already. “And call, more.” She handed the groceries up to Marja and Steve. Aaron turned to Martha with a smile,
“Alright” He answered softly. Marja and Steve had climbed down from the truck and waited by the Tercel. “Come here.” He called to them. As they ran over, Steve dropped a grocery bag and started to cry.
“Not now, Stevie. Not here. Come on, be a big boy” Martha pleaded. Aaron walked over to Steve, picked him up, and gave him a kiss.
“Don’t be a big boy until I get back. I don’t wanna miss it” Aaron whispered into his ear.
“What did you say to him?” Martha snapped. Aaron laughed and Steve giggled too. Marja yelled,
“ I want to know too!” she yelled. Aaron put Steve down and kneeled to hug Marja. “Bye Daddy” she said sweet and softly.
“Go to the car.” Martha said flatly. Aaron climbed up, opened the driver’s side door, and threw in the grocery bags. “Careful. There’s some Diet Coke in there.” She smiled and moved towards the truck. “Come down” She nodded her head back, motioning to him, with a smile.
He stepped down and she handed him his duffle bag. “I want to go home” he whispered, looking down at his shoes.
“I know baby.” Martha replied, caressing the back of his neck. “It’ll be okay though.” He looked up at her and smiled.
“Well gee,” was all he could manage. He moved to hold her, but she pushed him away to stare him straight in the eye.
“Just remember what we talked about and it’ll be okay.” He nodded and pulled her in close.
“I will” he whispered into her ear. Martha pulled away again and stared at him.
“I’ll seeya later” she said with tears rolling down her checks. She sniffled and tried to smile.
“Yeah, I’ll seeya”. He climbed up into his truck and watched Martha open the door of the Tercel and sit down. The car started and pulled out of the spot next to Sharon. The Tercel peaked out of the exit onto the open, hesitated a moment and then pulled out. As Aaron waved, knowing his family couldn’t see him, his phone rang.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hands-Free working?” Martha yelled back.
“Yes, and you don’t have to shout into the phone” Aaron chuckled. “Anything else?” he asked, not wanting to hang up.
“Do you have everything?” Martha asked.
“No, I forgot my duffle bag” Aaron sighed.
“Are you serious?” Martha yelled. Aaron could hear her pulling into a parking lot, getting ready to turn around to come back.
“No” he replied flatly.
“Oh. Okay…bye…”Martha sighed
“Bye” Aaron hung up.
Click. Once he strapped himself in, Aaron repositioned the rearview mirror and turned on the engine. “Happy Father’s Day” he sighed as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed out onto the empty road.

I’ve never been the type to say to myself, ‘Hey Self, whats up?  Hope things are good.  Oh um, by the way you should write stuff and then post that stuff onto the interwebs so that maybe, just maybe someone searching for Porn or blueberry muffin recipes accidentally stumbles across this and finds some enjoyment in your words/stuff.  Alright, I can see you’re busy so call me back when you get a free moment”.

By the way, myself is very busy.  I only ever get its voicemail.  But in the offset chance myself got my message and then actually called me back, I doubt it would agree with my blogging sentiment.  For some reason though, lately I’ve been extremely bored.  Which leads me to my new found interest in blogging. I hope you have nothing better to do than read my silly little stories  instead of baking those blueberry muffins or watching that naughty porn or else why bother type about what kind of sandwich I had today or plan on having tomorrow?

I on the other hand have better things to do, than read my silly little stories.  I have to write my silly little stories.  It’s something I need to sit down and actually do more, since I truly enjoy it.  Writing is hard though, I mean look at all the quotes from famous people about how difficult writing is.  And they wouldn’t lie…at least I don’t think they would.  Mark Twain seems like an honest guy.  Except for the whole Mark Twain not being his real name thing…hrm perhaps I should rethink trusting Mark Twain.

Anyhoo, conspiracies by Mark Twain to keep me from writing aside, this site will be devoted to experiments in literature.  Even as we speak, er blog, and by we I mean me…  so even as I blog, I have a whole slew of ideas floating around in my head and I desperately need somewhere to organize my thoughts, my BRILLIANT thoughts.  So, I will be either blocking things out in short story form or running ideas passed my HUGE audience*

If I’m not blocking things out, I’ll probably just be rantin’ and ravin’ over my new favoritest movie or bestest song ever.  I’ll also be complaining about Pier 1 Imports, my job there in particular.   But enough about me, lets talk about you, shall we?

Oh right, sorry.  Achem…alrighty then…welcome to the jungle

*for HUGE audience read, insomniacs and people who got lost searching for their friends’ blog about Manga.